Things I Learned in Jail

Other than, it sucks and don't do anything that would cause you to go to jail -- EVER!

• "Black and white be smokin' crack tonight." - The Late, Great Tupac Shakur said it best, white people and black people can both be crackheads/whores. Crack is not racist. The majority of the crackheads in the A-CC Jail were white as can be. Their teeth weren't though, yellowish-brown sells it best.
• Being addicted to crack causes you do crazy, crazy shit, but you aren't guilty of any crime, no sirree. The dope is to blame for that burglary charge, forgery charge, motor vehicle theft charge, prostitution charge, and (DUH!) that possession charge.
• Jail is no fun, but you can talk on the phone(collect), watch TV(same channel all day), and converse with your friends(inmates).
• Shackles are painful and hard to walk in. Cuffs on your ankles are so annoying! It's not like we're going to escape on the way to court. Yeah I'm just going to run away wearing a jumpsuit with CLARKE COUNTY JAIL on the back and not get picked up by the fuzz. Whatevs.
• Mexicans will pay you 5,000 dollars if you marry them to get them a green card. I know because my fellow cellmate did just that, she raves about it!
• Just because you are addicted to crack at 7 months pregnant, that does not mean you baby is going to be f-ed up. It's a possibility, but not a certainty. Totally glad to hear that one!
• Orange jumpsuits are for Violent Crimes, blue jumpsuits are for Nonviolent Crimes, and green jumpsuits are for Medical or Very Violent Crimes(eek!).
• The padded cells have nothing in them, not even a toilet, just a hole in the floor.
• Sex between guards and inmates is fairly common. Especially female guards and female inmates, I did not witness this but heard explicit(gross) stories.
• A lot of black women wear weaves all the time, like all the time. Underneath the weave they have cornrows. No one looks that good in cornrows.
• Having a child at 17 is not the best idea, especially if you are a crack whore.
• Nothing good comes out of Madison County, GA. And I mean nothing.
• There is a side of Athens that many of us white UGA students will never see. I learned some good places to buy crack, the best place to get shot, and neighborhoods to never visit.
• Just because someone is in jail, does not mean they won't try to tell you about God, Jesus and the Bible.
• No one in jail is guilty.

That's it. All in all, I learned more than I did in my Geology class. OOOHHH SNAP!