Vote or Die

Early voted today and got a really cool sticker! Totally voted for Bush and all the other Republicans on the ballot. Voted against the amendment on gay marriage. I do not think Georgia should amend its constitution to say marriage should only be between a man and a woman. Voted for the other constitutional amendment because my mother told me to and it's about the court system and she's an attorney. Whatever. GO VOTE! You can vote early too you know.

Girls Just Want to Have Fun!

Conference for the Governor's Office of Highway Safety(GOHS) totally sucked, but really, what did I expect? Not much, that's fo' sho'. The conference was at Callaway Gardens and was for high school and college groups that have grants from GOHS. I got asked about 10 times what high school I go to, after I got over my sudden urge to wring these idiots' necks, I would ask the idiots how old I looked to them. The responses ranged from 15-18, wtf? I know it's not a huge deal and later in life I'll be glad blah blah blah, but I'm a senior(4th year) in college and of legal drinking age. The fact that someone actually thought I was 15 made me want to spit fire, especially because I certainly don't act 15. Now I may not act 21, I'll admit that, but 15? Hells nah.

Not going to Jacksonville, wish I was, but I have one year left. I'll definitely go next year, when I can drive. Speaking of the Ga(y)tors (hee!), Zook was fired today. Maybe we'll actually beat Florida this year, but if we don't, I will be even more upset because they just lost to MS State and their coach was just fired. Georgia has to win now because losing under these circumstances will be so unbelievably embarassing, I will have to wear a bag on my head. Some might say I should anyways. Hey if I did, then maybe people wouldn't think I was 15...

I'm Lovin' It

I'm Lovin' W. Not going to break down my reasons, way too lazy. You(the cynic) may think this is because I am not well-informed, but you would be wrong. The only two things I disagree with Bush on are abstinence-only sex education and gay marriage. You cannot expect teenagers to completely abstain, it's the most unrealistic thing I've ever heard. Again, way too lazy to break it down more. Gay "marriage" should not be legal, butcall it something else, a civil union or something like that. Other than that, I'm totally lovin' Bush.

Sox It To Me

Hee! What a horrible post title! Oh well. The Red Sox pulled it out, 4 games in a row. The best is when they show the hugging and celebrating on TV, you keep expecting the players to just start making out or dry humping. Maybe it's just me. Anyways, so South Park is the greatest show ever.

I've got something in my front pocket for you...

Smiles

I'm stressed out about school, worried about family matters, annoyed with probation, and crushing hard on certain hopeless boys BUT I'm all smiles. Just happy as a clam. Why, you ask? Small things, really. Yesterday I was sitting on my stairs outside my apartment, bitching about having to pay 50 dollars to the county for court fees, and a very good looking boy drove up, got out of his car and gave me a flower, he walked off and I asked him what is was for and he said "cause you're just so pretty," and drove off. I had a huge grin for the rest of the day. It sounds gay, but the little bit of kindness made me sublimely happy. Don't you love stuff like that? What was that Kevin Spacey movie? Pass it on or something like that? That's what I(and you) need to do, pass on the kindness.

*UPDATE* The movie is Pay it Forward! Gosh, so glad I remembered that.

Sexually Stagnant

Never thought I could ever be this desperate for some(any) type of sexual interaction with another(male) person. I was not happier when I was slut, but I was certainly less sexually frustrated. I realize this is a very personal post, but whatever, I need a man. My basic requirements(in no particular order):

• A working sexual organ and a healthy sexual appetite
• Not physically/ psychologically dependent on any drug: prescription, illicit, alcohol, etc.
• Has a driver's license and a car, as I cannot currently drive(45 days left!)
• Not physically repulsive meaning he has a neck and nice teeth, also he should not grossly obese or hairy
• Nice, kind, not a complete asshole
• Knows how to work a telephone and does so on a regular basis
• Likes sports and/or music, especially college football
• Has a modicum of manners
• At least of average intelligence
• Not currently married, engaged, in a commited relationship

I personally don't think this is too much to ask. Maybe it is, but it really shouldn't be. Know anyone who fits these criteria? Hook a sister up.

Things I Learned in Jail

Other than, it sucks and don't do anything that would cause you to go to jail -- EVER!

• "Black and white be smokin' crack tonight." - The Late, Great Tupac Shakur said it best, white people and black people can both be crackheads/whores. Crack is not racist. The majority of the crackheads in the A-CC Jail were white as can be. Their teeth weren't though, yellowish-brown sells it best.
• Being addicted to crack causes you do crazy, crazy shit, but you aren't guilty of any crime, no sirree. The dope is to blame for that burglary charge, forgery charge, motor vehicle theft charge, prostitution charge, and (DUH!) that possession charge.
• Jail is no fun, but you can talk on the phone(collect), watch TV(same channel all day), and converse with your friends(inmates).
• Shackles are painful and hard to walk in. Cuffs on your ankles are so annoying! It's not like we're going to escape on the way to court. Yeah I'm just going to run away wearing a jumpsuit with CLARKE COUNTY JAIL on the back and not get picked up by the fuzz. Whatevs.
• Mexicans will pay you 5,000 dollars if you marry them to get them a green card. I know because my fellow cellmate did just that, she raves about it!
• Just because you are addicted to crack at 7 months pregnant, that does not mean you baby is going to be f-ed up. It's a possibility, but not a certainty. Totally glad to hear that one!
• Orange jumpsuits are for Violent Crimes, blue jumpsuits are for Nonviolent Crimes, and green jumpsuits are for Medical or Very Violent Crimes(eek!).
• The padded cells have nothing in them, not even a toilet, just a hole in the floor.
• Sex between guards and inmates is fairly common. Especially female guards and female inmates, I did not witness this but heard explicit(gross) stories.
• A lot of black women wear weaves all the time, like all the time. Underneath the weave they have cornrows. No one looks that good in cornrows.
• Having a child at 17 is not the best idea, especially if you are a crack whore.
• Nothing good comes out of Madison County, GA. And I mean nothing.
• There is a side of Athens that many of us white UGA students will never see. I learned some good places to buy crack, the best place to get shot, and neighborhoods to never visit.
• Just because someone is in jail, does not mean they won't try to tell you about God, Jesus and the Bible.
• No one in jail is guilty.

That's it. All in all, I learned more than I did in my Geology class. OOOHHH SNAP!

Free At Last

Out of the slammer. 48 hours in Athens-Clarke County Jail really sucks. Never thought they could put me in jail for a minor probation violation. I'm not doing anything wrong ever again, 48 hours was enough to scare my shit straight. I'm still in the jail frame of mind and the voice in my head sounds like a crackhead. Damn. Smoke Cock, Not Rock!

Jail Call

Killing myself... is (apparently) not an option. I have to go to jail soon. Not sure how soon, tonight, tomorrow, Thursday most likely. I'll have to post about how fun/ scary/ f'ed up/ rape-tastic it was.

Yes I'm exaggerating, I won't be in jail very long (hopefully). Prolly like 24 hours or something more suck-ful. Not excited(obvi), very distraught.

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things

God I fucking love Julie Andrews...

Idiot Box(har har har):

• Nip/Tuck: Did everyone see the season finale last night? UH-MAY-ZING!
• Gilmore Girls: So well written and I just love it! Lurve it! Cracks my shit up!
• Oprah: She's my hero/idol/favorite black lady(jay kay).
• The Real World: Filthadelphia: Karamo rules! Shavonda's HOTT! Sarah's bat-shit crazy!
• Friends, Sex and the City, Seinfeld, Simpsons Reruns: Yawn I know, but hey I'm easy.

Web 'O' Rama:

• Gawker: NYC blog, but great gossip/ hilariousness/ cattiness
• Defamer: LA blog, same as above
• College Humor: Just go look. The Election Erection Contest is fucking awesome!
• Ask Men: Men are crazy.
• Good: Celebrities who've made good surgery choices. Fun!
• Awful: Celebrities who've made awful surgery choices. More fun!
• Jambase: Concert listings, etc.
• Television Without Pity: So good for time-wasting!
• Go Fug Yourself: Just so so so funny!

I'm bored with this. Go entertain yourself!